April 15, 2013

With the moon in Gemini for another day, the swift cuts of its double-edged blade can be felt in the atmosphere all around. Our steps seem heavy, our confidence a little shaky as we make our way against the headwind. So we allow this swirling energy to do its will in the ether as we remain still and breathe deep. Not altogether blockading the blows, creating barriers to the buffeting, instead listening closely and letting it move through us cleanly without holding on to it, even taking pleasure in the stillness of our bodies, made more attenuated by the quick reparte of the dueling foils of the universe. Steady and poised we remain until our heavenly body, the moon, moves into the more temperate motion of Cancer where we can begin to integrate all the knowledge we culled from the winds. Slowly we will open our chakra points to the energy that is most needed, waterfalls of wheels spinning, weaving the individual lesson-threads into a cloth that will wrap us up in a warm hug of wisdom.

Transformation is at hand. Like a caterpillar emerging as a butterfly from its cocoon, there is the opportunity for exponential growth here. While we can't ask the caterpillar if that evolution is painful or not, I can tell you that if you hold yourself away from the flood that IS on its way and decide to see your cocoon as a coffin, you are the cause of your own discomfort. Take a break from continuously detaching yourself from the party and turn to see the well from which you are being invited to drink. Feel how parched you are. Run your hand over your dessicated skin. This isn't a mirage you see before you--this is the font of immortal life, your fountain of youth. The spirit cannot die, only fade or become brighter. Choose the light, colorful unfolding wings. Bathe in the fountain and remove the crust that you've let develop all around your body and life. It could feel like the ripping off a bandaid or a thypoon breaking down walls~but in the end that energy released from your too-close quarters will be a thrill to your senses.

The straight dope: Keep being chill. You do it instinctively and should keep it up this week. You are not in fact being a party-pooper, wallflower or loner. So dismiss those monikers now. it is a good time to give yourself some distance to be your own person free from insinuation and crowd-mentality. The more chill you are, the more fuel given to your actions. A restorative limbo is yours for the taking, whereby a new perspective is given entre and that luxurious time to sink in. Time to make new friends with your most deepest self. Remember as you move into this period of self-study, the more you surrender to the awkwardness of what comes up, the more beneficial it will be. Use that chill attitude to not detach from yourSELF but to give that little bit of distance that allows the fuzzy little animal (your own secrets) to approach you. This period of self-reflection/introspection/panning for gold, only means you have more to bring back to the hip-hop dance party upon your return. 

Easy-peasy Pisceans--strike a match and burn that contract in front of you. You know the one, that one there that has grown in size and weight that you now carry on your back like a cross. Light.It.Up. Tear it to pieces. Dump it. The feeling of lightness that comes with that action will be swift and victorious. Ride high on that--it will take you far, making up for lost time so that there is no regret for that "time lost, energy spent" on working to keep that null and void document going. This is how you start fresh. Do away with any red tape that is only dragging you down down down. Those "rules" are only a fallacy anyway. The moment you take away your belief in them, the moment they lose their power. Give it a try. You'll get hooked on the feeling. 

You are on the soul-level evolutionary tip my little rams! Revelations are coming to light that will elevate your spirit one more turn of the grand spiral staircase of growth--which is the reason we are on this Earth in the first place. It's actually a really simple process. Open FULLY to the darkness, the void. This is a space deep inside yourself that holds all your secrets...not unlike a basement. And just like any dark cellar, it can seem scary. Creepy. We imagine spiders, ghosts, scurrying furry creatures, and bloodcurdling surprises at every turn. But if we bring a flashlight and turn it on that certain specter in the corner, we see it is simply a pile of laundry with a discarded ball cap resting on top. Keep that torch handy and move slowly, illuminating all the cobwebby corners and see what treasures you forgot (or didn't even really know!!) were there. It's low tide and all the shells, sand dollars and sea stars are out. It's a candy land of booty that will take you to the ultimate treasure chest in which a very particular key is kept hidden. This is the key that will remove your Marley-like chains from your body. Freeing you and giving birth to a new unencumbered self--but you are the only one that can do all this. I'm excited for and a bit envious of you! Enjoy the adventure!  

Don't be the person that when presented with a particular gift, asks (aloud) why you weren't given the other brand, color, make, model... You are in the midst of a choose your own adventure and if you judge every turn of the page or every choice given to you, you'll miss the finer points and all the fun by the way. Judging is a way of staying detached from the fray. But the fray, OH THE FRAY--it's where it's at, my friends. Be an uninhibited explorer, turn fully into what is being divulged to you at this moment. Turn "this moment" over in your hands like it's a Rubik's Cube that only you can solve. Dive in. There is more than what is on the surface. Sight is just one part of it. Pulling it into your very being is another thing altogether. I guarantee you'll love the feeling that results. Remember how strange the Everlasting Gobstopper looked and sounded to you as a kid? Remember how your face lit up like a firecracker upon tasting it again and again through its many incarnations? Yeah. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

In short, kneeling to the ground in graceful surrender is not the same as falling to your knees to beg. Both do encapsulate a certain resignation, but there is a profound difference in posture and attitude. Take a moment from your focused-to-the-point-of-tyranny-inducing movement to see what it is you are attempting to escape from AND avoiding to move towards. This kind of motion gets you no where and uses up precious fuel in the process. So pause to reflect inward into your own heart, what is it you are really desiring? This is how you find your destination and become at peace with it. Taking this time to let things marinade will break the pattern of circuitous fly-like motion you were in. No more buzzing around. When you do this, I think you'll find that giving in to yourself in this way actually leaves you standing taller at the end. Taller, more confident and whole. So slow down that ego, kneel in to your self and see what you come up with. 

You sure do know how to move. When you put your mind to it, there is no stopping you. But, as we've seen before, all this willfull movement on the ground is taking you further away from the water that you crabs need to sustain life. What I mean is this--is all your driving keeping you from a necessary bath in your own element. The element related to inner work? Your subconscious? Your emotions? You may feel more steady and structured by this constant motion but only because it gives you an excuse to not feel the movement of your own inner seas. You can't keep this up forever. you are only cheating yourself out of a connection to your feelings that could nourish you. Pause, foot off the gas and get used to the gentle swaying of your watery insides. Give a chance for your sealegs to grow muscle. There's a more abundant and lyrical rhythm as opposed to momentum for you to tap into.

We have moved away from traipsing about with naivete and an innocent air about ourselves. Now time to lower your upturned face to see the panorama in front of you in all its glory. It's a decision to be in charge of your path--as this keeps you on it and not sidetracked in the brush and bracken. This happens from time to time, so embrace it! A fool's leap is not required at this juncture, but a deliberate assay of the horizon. You are the captain. What ships are you going to send out and in what direction? How are you going to forge this wide body of water? No frenetic motion necessary. Sit and gaze, both feet on the ground. Balance is to be restored in your very being. Center and feel the earth under you. This is a time of a new and different thrill--one of clarity of vision, pointed decision-making and dedication to your path.

Following that child-spirit of adventure is exciting, but the truth is, you're missing out on an even greater joy. As always, there is a time and place for everything. Right now, the instinct to go from one thing to another like a little Dr. Seuss character is stealing your own thunder--it's keeping you from accessing your own inner garden that is itself abundantly rich with colorful blossoms to smell and touch. Let your movement be more acutely focused. Direct your action so that you are honing in on the essence of something, one thing at a time, fully taking in its blueprint, DNA, its very cellular structure. You will soon find that you are given hints as to your very own make-up--what makes you tick, what your own soil pH is to create such vivid, perfumey flowers. Be more present, stop flitting to and fro, and you just may find your inner self will blossom and grow!

As an interesting twist to the whole "seeing the glass as half empty" thing--it seems it is not because you are a pessimist, but because you are actually afraid of what acknowledging a half-full glass will mean for you. It means that there is more drinking to be done--more energy to be exerted, more communing with the living, breathing world required. And the very thought of this exhausts you. I'm here to tell you however, that it is the fear itself that is tiring you out, not WHAT you fear. So stop the hand-wringing. Directly confront that glass and say outloud, "You are half-full." A silence will come over you, the fear-mongering voices in your head will abate and you will remain still and sure with a sharp, clear voice and vision that knows no boundaries. 

You are not hearing things, you are right in feeling that your only responsibility is to yourself right now. Feel how tired you are, exhausted even. This over-extension is not exactly a result of doing only for others though. It's due to you resisting that which you know to be true. You are tricking yourself some if you lay that responsibility on others. They might keep asking of you. They might keep demanding of you, but you know that you have the ability and wherewithall to put an end to it. And you also know how easy that would be once that decision is made. It's not fighting or putting up barricades, it's simply moving away. Turning your back, leaving no wake for them to follow. Dive into your watery nature and give into that rhythm that is calling you. Leave behind and move on. Find a balance that you most desperately need. The High Priestess with all her secrets awaits you. You have to look to her, go to her, not the other way around. What exists beyond her veil will no doubt be lush, nourishing and worth the effort to tear yourself away from that which no longer serves.

You feel like you crawled to the edge of a river only to be left for dead before being able to take that sip of cool, refreshing water. You're all out. Couldn't move another muscle. Can barely breathe you're so spent. So roll over. Just roll off the edge and plunge into the drink! That's all the energy you need to expend to get to that life-giving nourishment right there in front of you. You'll be carried on its currents, brought back into balance in mind and body and be deposited on higher ground, where your perspective will be broader. Even then, you won't need to move much--just take it all in, the expanse in front of you. So plunge into your emotions that are rightthere, be cleansed and polished by them. You'll feel freer and your mind will not be limiting and hampering of your motion. Your muscles will finally get that oxygen instead of your over-anxious brain. Doing this gets you back on your throne, back in your seat when the water recedes. You will be back to being Master of your Domain, grounded and with clear sight once again.